our little valosa raptor

I cannot believe how busy I am.

I was in my pajamas until 1pm today. Not because I'm lazy and slept in, oh no. I was stuck in my pajamas because I didn't have even one spare second to put on real clothes this morning. Baby girl keeps me so busy, I am finding it a real challenge to do regular day-to-day things (like shower, eat, blink) let alone keep up with my blogging properly. I have been experiencing so many things that I've wanted to write about - milestones, breast feeding developments, baby acne, etc. - but have had nary a second to check my email let alone update my blog.

However, since Maya is currently sleeping right next to me I actually have a minute to check in here. I am reading other blogs but not commenting as much as I would like. As for updating my own blog, rather than try to backtrack and cover all the developments that I've missed documenting over the past week or so, I think I'm just gonna start fresh and talk about what's going on today, now, this minute. Here goes:

D has gone back to work as of Monday. It's been hard without him, I miss him tons. And I know he misses us too because he's CONSTANTLY calling to check in on his "girls". We've been managing but I must admit it is a lot more challenging to keep up with baby girl without those extra set of hands.

Maya is a really LOUD baby. She grunts, growls and snorts like a 65 year old man. It really is the cutest thing. When she stretches, it sounds like a valosa raptor laying an egg. We love it. She is such a vocal little monster.

My daughter absolutely loves her feet massaged. Just like her mummy. Not too hard, not too soft, and she likes it when I play with her toes. She'll flex, clench and stretch her feet in response to the rubbing. It's soooooo cute.

Maya's room is finally finished! I'm going to take some pictures and post them asap. She's currently sleeping between D and I at night in her co-sleeper and I can't bear to put her in her crib just yet. We set her down in there yesterday while we were finishing up her room and she looked SO small in there. Such a tiny girl swimming in sea of crib and bedding. We'll get there. But for now, I like to hear her grunts and growls while she sleeps right next to me.

I know it's far too early to establish a routine quite yet - Maya is only barely three weeks old after all - but I am planting the seeds. Starting yesterday, unless we're out, feedings always take place in the rocking chair in her room. Followed by a burp and a diaper change and a few minutes rocking in the chair...and maybe a story. We started out giving her a bath once a week, and then twice a week, and now we're up to every other night. Starting tonight, we're going to start bathing her every night as part of her bedtime routine. I am convinced that babies enjoy routine. I know that I am excited to have one.

We had a doctor's appointment last week and everything went great. The doctor was happy with Maya's weight gain (up about a pound to 8lbs 8oz). We go back for another weight check on Monday. I think (and hope) she'll be up again by quite a bit. She feels heavier to me. And she seems bigger. She's already outgrown a handful of outfits.

My biggest challenge thus far has been *trying* to accept that she's not as fragile as she seems. Every time I pick her up, I wonder if I've wrenched her neck or pressed a fontanelle. Everyone says it's much harder to hurt a baby than I think it is, but I am so totally consumed with worry about accidently hurting her. She's just so tiny. And I love her so very much. And I think part of it is that we've worked so hard and waited so long to have her, I'm nervous about breaking her. Am I the only one who worries about this?

I am so in love with my daughter. She is really and truly the love of my life. Barely three weeks old and she's already got such a personality. She totally cracks D and I up on a regular basis. This parenting thing is really hard work, no doubt, but I can barely remember my life before she came along. Every fiber of my being just wants to provide for her and take care of her and protect her and make her happy. When she's crying, it makes me crazy, I can't concentrate on anything else. I don't know how else to explain it other than to say that right now - I am Maya's mum first, Hilary second.