One is enough, I've decided. One kid is all I need. I am so utterly happy, content and satisfied with my one sweet little baby, I really don't feel any desire for a second. (Plus, Maya is such a good-natured, calm, easy baby - you just know if we had a second one we'd get a little stinker.) I always thought I would just want one but everyone warned me that once I had one kid, I'd want more. At this point, I just don't think so; but of course, never say never.
I have virtually no desire to be pregnant again, either. I see pregnant women all the time and I just feel so thankful that it's not me. (How's THAT for a crazy turnaround from this time last year?) It's not that I didn't enjoy my pregnancy; I absolutely loved being preggers. But it was an anxious time for me, full of worry, anxiety and fear. I guess that's the gift that the miscarriage left behind.
I have everything I've ever wanted, all wrapped up in the sweetest little package. Maya is my whole heart and I just can't imagine loving anyone more. And I don't want to have to share any of my attention, I want her to have it all. And she does. And it's perfect.
...now that I've actually put all this in writing, watch me get pregnant again by accident...
D bought me an iPhone over the weekend and I am having a love affair with it. Man the things it can do! I never thought something like this could exist in my lifetime. But here it is! I don't have too much more to say on this subject but just had to let you all know that I am having way too much fun with my new toy. (In fact, I stayed up until nearly 2am last night playing with it, while husband and baby snoozed away...)
We took Maya to get her picture taken with Santa Claus today. Santa made his appearance at a local department store downtown, so we dressed Miss Maya up and took her down there to sit on his lap. Meanwhile, mummy was having a breakdown. Why? Because of the germs. I know I am far too crazy about this stuff - seriously - like right now I have Kleenex boxes on my feet a la Howard Hughes. But seriously, I was envisioning long lines filled with snot-nosed children and oh the germs on Santa's lap and hands. (Is it just me or do other peoples' kids just seem so...dirty?)
Anyway, I know this is all about me and my insanity and it makes no sense. In fact, the thinking part of my brain knows that it's actually good for her to be exposed to all kinds of situations like this to help build up her immunity. But like I said, I am crazy. A germaphobe is a kind way of saying what I am.
And I really don't want Maya to miss out on any fun or opportunities because I am crazy. So I sucked it up, took her to see Santa and sit on his lap, cringed as the photographer put her finger in Maya's mouth to wipe off some drool, and couldn't help but notice Santa's dirty fingernails. And there did end up being, in fact, a dirty little boy in line behind us who was positively plagued with green snot pouring out of his nose. But whatever. We did it. I survived. Maya smiled the sweetest smile for the camera. And then we rushed home to give her a bath.
The pictures were promised by Wednesday - will post as soon as I get them!