Monday, November 10, 2008

what a difference a year makes

November 11th is a significant date to me. It was my LMP (last menstrual period). This time last year, I was gearing up for the IVF and on November 11th, the "cycle" officially began. Two weeks later (on November 25th) I'd have the egg retrieval and 5 days after that (November 30th), I'd have the transfer. The transfer of one perfect, gosh darn beautiful blastocyst.

This morning, I looked back at my posts on my old blog, The Trying Game, from this time last year. It seems like just yesterday and so long ago at the same time. I was reminded again, like I am every minute of every day, how incredibly blessed I am. I have the baby of my dreams and I am loving every second of motherhood. Every.Single.Second.

This time last year, I remember feeling full of worry, anxiety, and nerves. I remember some dark, dark times. I also remember feeling cautiously hopeful.

I never imagined that my life would turn out this blissful.

This time next year, I will be the mother of a little girl who is one year and three months old. She might be walking, starting to talk.

My birthday is at the end of November. I will be turning 32. For the past few years, I was always a bit sad on my birthday. My birthday reminded me that I was getting older and I wasn't living the life I wanted. I felt like I was failing.

This year will be different. Last year I was a wreck and this year I am completely happy, content and fulfilled. This year, I will wake up on my birthday and look at Maya's sweet face and feel like the luckiest person in the world. I wished for a baby when I blew out the candles on last year's birthday cake. My wish came true. I am finally a mother, and it is everything I hoped for and waaaaaaaay more.

6 comments:

AwkwardMoments said...

These are the days!

RBandRC said...

Its amazing how much life can change in 365 short days! :)

Martin said...

"The more things change, the more they stay the same" could not be more true.

You've had quite the year, and you've done ever so well.

She's beautiful.

christina(apronstrings) said...

i feel the same! so freakin lucky!

Emily said...

You don't know me, but I have been following both your blogs for a while. Somewhere along my journey with PCOS I ran across your first blog and became hooked because I identified with you so much. When you had Maya, I was so happy for you, and now I can begin to understand your joy. You see, I am now almost 17 weeks pregnant with my first. Throughout the beginning of my pregnancy I was terrified something would happen, but everything has been great so far. I feel like your experiences are just a few months ahead for me. I went from identifying with you to reading your posts and getting excited about what I will be going through soon. I am still paranoid, probably will be until I am holding my baby in my arms, but now I am actually starting to relax a bit. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with those of us going through the same things. Congratulations on your beautiful, healthy, baby girl!

sarah23 said...

fertilized said, "These are the days!"

I have been humming that song (10,000 Maniacs) for months now!!

I'm really happy that things are so good.